What to do when flow fucks off?
First published October, 21, 2026. https://kellietheridge.substack.com/p/no-mojo-for-flow
Life, as of late, has been rather overwhelming. Flow has fucked off. (Sorry for the profanity, but my other favourite f-word comes out when I’m frustrated).
We have been trying to sell our house since May and we are mired in endless showings, realtor tours and open houses. Now that we finally have an offer, the distractions have turned to house inspection, septic inspection and water tests and endless signing of contracts. As I type this, I’m waiting for the home inspector to show up. He or she is late and I’m frustrated and stalled. I find I can’t jump into a project or task knowing I’ll be interrupted at any moment. This process has been a giant epiphany for me. As I analyse my own flow-state readiness, I’ve discovered that I feel the need to curate the perfect flow experience and if it isn’t going to be perfect, I abandon it.
I schedule flow into my days and if something comes up—an appointment, an unexpected visit, a meeting, people home who were supposed to be out—I table my flow time for another day. So what happens when this happens repeatedly? No flow! I’m frustrated by all the things around me that pull me away from flow, but I’m more frustrated with myself for allowing it to happen.
I know already that stress and flow aren’t best friends. I’m usually a grounded person, but in this uncertain process of house selling and farm buying, I’m a stress mess. I’m a ball of frenetic energy bouncing around with absolutely no focus. This limbo-land state I’ve been in makes me feel unstable and quite miserable. I need solid ground, for the path to appear in front of me. I love change. I despise uncertainty.
So, my goal is to open “certainty windows”, as Rian Doris, co-founder of Flow Research Collective, calls it. I’ll create pockets of time that are safe, that I can protect from flow blockers. These can be short—15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour. You can stack them together to create deeper success. The point is to not avoid the work altogether because of mental overwhelm. There is always some time that can be carved out, even when life feels frenzied.
You can find out more here:
My strategies to create a force field around the flow state and its upcoming certainty window:
- Write down everything that feels like a diversion and set it aside. This will allow me to relax and not worry that I will forget about something after. I love making lists so this one should be easy.
- Turn off my phone and place it out of sight. Simple. I often leave my phone in other rooms and forget that I don’t even have it sometimes.
- Turn off email notifications including sounds and pop ups. Sounds achievable.
- Close tabs on my computer – I admit to have multiple tabs open all the time, and I acknowledge them as hindrances to focus. I will only have one tab open for writing. This one will be harder; I’m already cringing at the thought of closing tabs.
- Breathe, before I dive in, to ground myself. I love box breathing, but you can choose any breathing technique that resonates with you.
- Create a clear goal for the amount of time I’ve allotted to the task. I’ll choose one task to focus on per session.
- Commit to the certainty window and honour the work. I’m craving this part.
- Repeat. Yes please!
I’ll let you know how it goes, where the struggles lie and where the successes surface.
I’d love to hear about your strategies for focusing on your writing when life is challenging and distracting.
